“Are you a person more focused on the future or on the past?” he asked me. I was interviewing best-selling author Les Parrott for a podcast and, in our conversation about differences in personality, he posed that question to me about how I typically think about time in my day-to-day. I immediately knew the answer: I’m almost always thinking about what I have coming up in the next hour, the next day, the next week, the next year.
But what’s happening in the here and now? Um, not so much.
That may be you as well. Or you may find yourself thinking about what happened an hour ago, a day ago, a week ago, a year ago. For most of us, we usually inhabit one of those two places, a time that is upcoming or a time that is past.
It can make being present challenging. It can make staying in the current moment difficult.
That’s where the term “mindfulness” comes into play. It’s a word you’ve likely heard batted around a lot in recent years, with encouragement to be “mindful” in the moment, to take a breath and focus on “mindfulness.” But what does that even mean? And how can you do it?
Jesus talks about being in the moment, staying present in the actual day in which you’re living. He’s recorded in Matthew 6:34 as saying, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” King Solomon, renowned for his wisdom and success, wrote, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: … a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, … a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4, 7). These words all show the importance of not getting ahead, or behind, ourselves in our thoughts.
Mindfulness simply means that you practice being aware and thoughtful of the very moment you are in. It means truly enjoying your child’s birthday party, without letting your mind project out to the following hour when you’ll be escorting a pack of squirrely six-year-olds out the door and cleaning up the mess. It means sitting with someone who is going through a hard time and letting that emotion sit there with you both. When we’re mindful in the moment, it both allows and requires us to be there, to not let our thoughts carry us out of the room and into another square on the calendar.
When we’re mindful, it holds a world of benefits for us. We can sleep better. It reduces our stress. It can improve our focus on a project. It can help us better manage our feelings.1
So how do you and I practice being mindful, whether we’re typically future or past thinkers? Consider the following ideas to help you stay in the here and now:
Prayer: Let’s face it, nothing can expose how your mind wanders like spending some time in prayer. You can start off with the best of intentions, and before you’ve even prayed for a couple of minutes, you’re already composing a grocery list in a side room of your brain or you’re remembering what you forgot to do yesterday at work. But prayer is a great opportunity to center your heart and your thoughts on God, to converse with Him and bring your concerns to Him.
If you’re struggling in your prayer time to stay focused, consider journaling your prayers. This is simply when you write your prayers out as you pray them. The act of writing can help diminish all the other thoughts coming at you and can serve as a beautiful record of your time with God.
There are also guided prayer books which have had a long-standing place in the practice of prayer throughout faith history. The Book of Common Prayer, first published in 1549 during the reign of King Edward the VI of England, is a guided prayer guide still in use today by many people of faith. (You can also find an online source here.)
Beginning a time of prayer with the prayer Jesus exampled for his disciples is another way to begin your time with God with focus and intentionality:
“This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’”
Matthew 6:9-13
If you continue to struggle with prayer, consider asking to meet with your pastor or a spiritual mentor. They can help guide you in your practice of prayer.
Five Things: Part of staying in the moment is taking stock of where you physically are and what is physically happening. That is why counselors will often advise you to intentionally notice what you are seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling. It is a powerful way to come back from your thoughts and experience what is currently around you. The next time you feel your thoughts wandering in a meeting, during a dinner party, or when you’re at the park with your kids, take a moment to experience the moment through the vehicle of your senses.
Some people use what they call the 5-4-3-2-1 method: five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.2 Many people find this a fast and easy way to come back to the present and to regain control of their thoughts.
Tech Break: I know, I know. In a connected world, where your boss expects you to answer emails immediately, when you need to be available for that text coming in about when to pick up your kid after practice, it can be hard to put down your phone and take a breath. And there are those times, sure, when it’s most important to be available through the vehicle of technology. But what about all those other times? Those times you’re lost in your phone, distracted from the conversation around you, avoiding the drama in the room by engaging in the drama on Instagram, allowing the screen you hold in your hand to separate you from the wide angle lens of real life around you? I’m guilty of it and I’m guessing you are too, allowing tech to take the place of the present moment. It’s hard to stay in a posture of presence when there’s so much online to pull us away. Consider putting the phones in another room or in your bag when you’re having dinner with family or friends. Give your phone a curfew each night and tuck it out of sight, giving the last hour or so or your day to conversation with your loved one or for journaling.
With more distractions than ever, it takes more intentionality than ever to stay engaged in the present. When you do, when you take up habits that help you focus on the here and now, when you let go of practices that drag you away from today, you’ll increase your physical, spiritual, and emotional health. Don’t underestimate the power of being present. After all, it’s your real life, not the one somewhere out there in the future, not the days that have already passed.
If you’re a Member of Altrua HealthShare on certain memberships and you find that you are struggling with what’s happening in your life today, you have access to telecounseling and in-person counseling through Telus Health. Use your Altrua HealthShare credentials to sign into the Telus Health app (you can find the download at your phone’s app store) or website to get started today, or contact a Member Services Representative today at 1.888.244.3839 and they can help connect you to a certified coach or counselor. If you’re not yet a Member of Altrua HealthShare or have questions about your current level of membership, you can also reach out to a Member Services Representative with your questions or for more information. And here’s some exciting news: if you become a Member of Altrua HealthShare between now and March 31, 2025, your first month is free! Click here for more details.
1 https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/mindfulness-matters
2 https://www.calm.com/blog/5-4-3-2-1-a-simple-exercise-to-calm-the-mind#:~:text=It%20involves%20identifying%205%20things,thoughts%20to%20the%20present%20moment.